Vinyl, Kale or Condos: It’s Your Move in the ‘Settlers of Brooklyn’ Board Game

Posted On Tue, April 12, 2016 By

Posted On Tue, April 12, 2016 By In City Living, gentrification, Video

In the Settlers of Brooklyn (pronounced inexplicably in the lost tongue of the High Middle Ages), an “award-winning game of entitlement, self-discovery and brunch,” there are five resources available: coffee, vinyl, bicycles, skinny jeans, and kale. All of which sound like reasonably life-enhancing additions, but when combined with a tableful of flannel-wearing gits, such as those portrayed in the video below, set on engineering the perfect endless brunch, the whole picture begins to grate like the line outside Egg on a Sunday morning. So the best thing to do may be just to roll with it, which is the idea behind this quick video sendup from snarkmeisters Above Average.

Though it may not, in fact, be true that “in the early 2000s, the land was virtually uninhabited by young adults with wealthy parents,”  as a player in this imaginary board game, your goal is to “be the first player to create a fully gentrified colony” with record stores, food trucks, and Urban Outfitters. And while you’re at it, why not take a shot at upgrading your loft to a condo! You can see where this is going, as can the portly, faceless “realtor” gamepiece which “moves residents out of the neighborhood to make room for more colonization.” And you’ll never guess what the winner gets.

Settlers of Brooklyn

Keep the brunch wagon rolling with (brand new!) expansion packs for Harlem and Astoria. It’s all in good fun. Til you get stuck with nothing but kale.

Settlers-games

RELATED:

Tags : ,

MOST RECENT ARTICLES

  • Iconic ballet dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov buys Harlem condo for $1.4 million

    Iconic ballet dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov buys Harlem condo for $1.4 million

    Mikhail Baryshnikov, who fled the Soviet Union in 1974 and landed in Canada is today considered one of the greatest ballet dancers ...
  • Starting Monday, three Brooklyn R train stations will shut down for six months

    Starting Monday, three Brooklyn R train stations will shut down for six months

    Last January, Governor Cuomo announced a massive undertaking to “modernize and fundamentally transform” the MTA and the subway by adding ...
  • Greta Garbo’s exclusive East Side co-op hits the market for the first time in 64 years, asking $6M

    Greta Garbo’s exclusive East Side co-op hits the market for the first time in 64 years, asking $6M

    For the first time in decades, an apartment in The Campanile, an exclusive co-op building in the Beekman/Sutton Place neighborhood, ...
  • The least affordable U.S. city for public transit isn’t NYC (and more fun facts about the cost of a commute)

    The least affordable U.S. city for public transit isn’t NYC (and more fun facts about the cost of a commute)

    In light of NYC’s recent subway fare hike that bumped the price of a monthly pass to $121, the data jocks ...
  • For $675K this tiny West Village studio is big on rustic loft style

    For $675K this tiny West Village studio is big on rustic loft style

    This completely renovated loft-style studio co-op at 9 Barrow Street may be tiny with little more than 300 square feet of ...
  • Dreamy furnished studio with lots of greenery asks $3,200/month in the East Village

    Dreamy furnished studio with lots of greenery asks $3,200/month in the East Village

    This furnished rental at 527 East 12th Street in the East Village is downright dreamy. The exposed brick has been painted white ...
  • National Academy’s trio of palatial UES buildings drops price to $79M, gets new pics

    National Academy’s trio of palatial UES buildings drops price to $79M, gets new pics

    Nearly a year ago, the National Academy Museum & School listed their three stunning Carnegie Hill properties for $120 million–two interconnected townhouses ...
  • 204 years ago today, the Manhattan Street Grid became official

    204 years ago today, the Manhattan Street Grid became official

    Photo courtesy of the Greenwich Village Society of Historical Preservation Deemed by historians as the “single most important document in ...
  • Law assigning hundreds of NYC spots to car-shares now in effect

    Law assigning hundreds of NYC spots to car-shares now in effect

    Signed into law Tuesday, the program dedicates 600 vehicle spaces—300 on-street and 300 off-street—throughout the five boroughs to companies such ...
  • French bulldog keeps title of NYC’s favorite breed; first Citywide Ferry boat enroute to New York

    French bulldog keeps title of NYC’s favorite breed; first Citywide Ferry boat enroute to New York

    Why Robert Moses just won’t go away. [NYT] For the third year in a row, NYC’s most popular dog breed ...
  • Comptroller Scott Stringer lays out plan for NYC to invest in its seniors

    Comptroller Scott Stringer lays out plan for NYC to invest in its seniors

    Like many cities across the country, New York City’s population is getting older. Today, more than 1.1 million adults over ...
  • Remembering New York City’s days of deadly smog

    Remembering New York City’s days of deadly smog

    Smog covering the Empire State Building. New York, NY, US, November 21, 1953, LIFE Magazine. Over Thanksgiving weekend in 1966, the ...

SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTERS

Thank you, your sign-up request was successful!
This email address is already subscribed, thank you!
Please provide a valid email address.
Please complete the CAPTCHA.
Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later.