Surreal Estate: NYC Listings That Are Scary, Hairy, and Totally Hideous

October 28, 2015

As if New York City home prices, monthly rents and apartment sizes weren’t scary enough. Between the horrors of Airbnb, overpriced dorm-style “co-living,” super-expensive micro-apartments, and Donald Trump, it’s hard to imagine we’d need Halloween to scare ourselves silly.

But scare we do. Because of listings like these that know no season. Because sometimes real estate gets a little too real. From spookily dilapidated to eerily obscure to downright hideous, 6sqft has rounded up some of the most horrifying listings out there.

Bizarre in Brooklyn

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary HomesListing/image: Cornerstone

It’s always Halloween somewhere. And that somewhere is Mill Basin. No need to even go inside this $2.2M single-family home.

Perhaps a peek inside some other neighborhood listings?

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary HomesListing/image: Cornerstone

 Nope.

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary HomesListing/image: 2327 East 66th Street, by Talk of the Town

 No.

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary HomesListing/image: Cornerstone.

 Don’t get up, we were just leaving.

7529 Shore Road, Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, Brooklyn homes for sale, big tickets, mansions, aquarium, pool,Listing/image: 7529 Shore Road, by Jim Brocking for Jabour Realty

 Bay Ridge, home of the $4.58 million ’80s gym/lounge and wall-sized wood-paneled aquarium might be a close second.

Moving on to the low key and sedate neighborhood of Boerum Hill.

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary Homes

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary Homes

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary HomesListing/images: 342 Bergen StreetChristopher Brown  for Century 21.

 Here’s 342 Bergen Street which, for $3.25 million, offers “Income Potential Or A Palate To Create Your Own Dream Living Space.” Because you’ve been dreaming about 23 rooms of stuffed animal graveyards and worrisome doll cabals. But at least there’s outdoor space… have a seat!

When Art Goes Wrong

Sometimes the most unsettling listings have the best of intentions, like the ones that feature somewhat disturbing works of art. Which, of course, is always in the eye of the beholder…

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary Homes

 Such as this $799K Park Slope FSBO at 488 3rd Street #1B.

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary HomesListing/images: 1073 Turkey Hill Road, Milan, NY by Gail Saucier for Berkshire Hathaway.

↑ Then there’s when the art even makes the other art nervous. Such as these upstate fellows.

BadArt44-1Listing/images: 44 Montgomery Place by Louise Beasley-Spaier for Warren Lewis Sothebys.

 And the folks at the bottom left that are so outta there, hopefully unnoticed, in this $5M Park Slope single-family townhouse.

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary Homes

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary HomesListing/images: Douglas Elliman.

 We’re thinking Mardi Gras Buddha can protect you here at 408 Greenwich Street. But you’re on your own in the bathroom (except not nearly as much as you’d probably like).

Freaky Fixer-Uppers

Then we have the fixer-uppers, scary at first, but loaded with potential.

138 West 10th StreetListing/image: Douglas Elliman.

↑ This listing at 138 West 10th Street doesn’t mince words about this “West Village pre war one bedroom wreck…”

689 Sackett Street

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary HomesListing/image: Corcoran Group.

↑ This enormous $4.5M townhouse at 689 Sackett Street in Boerum Hill has a pretty cool art studio, and history is on its side if you are.

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary Homes

829 Green Avenue Listing/images: Halstead.

 Clear warnings and caveats should definitely be heeded. This $999K Bed-Stuy fixer-upper listing warns, “Bring your contractor, architect, vision, hard hat, flash light and your broker.” (The good news: You don’t have to bring your couch!)

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary HomesListing: 36-28 Greenpoint Avenue, by Dwell Residential.

↑ Some listings are a little more misleading, such as this one for a “townhouse” in Long Island City that “was once a lovely home for a family of four.”

Paranormal and Unexplained Activity

Then there are warning signs we just kind of sense.

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary Homes

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary Homes
Top: Brownstone Real Estate; bottom: via Craigslist.

 Such as the worrisome trend of photos being taken by a camera hidden in your bathroom ceiling.

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary HomesListing/image: Urban Spaces.

↑ And the dangerous-looking alien beings that have already moved in at this Bed-Stuy rental.

Finally there are the inexplicable “what were they thinking?” listings that look like they’d scare more than they’d sell.

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary HomesListing/image: United National Realty via Exit Realty.

↑ This Gravesend house is made of all the mugs you’ve ever broken.

150 West 47th Street

150 West 47th Street

 This “north facing unit on a high floor” in Midtown looks very east-facing to us.

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary Homes

Scary listings, Halloween, Holiday, Spooky Listings, Scary Homes

Really1Listing/image: 440 Prospect Avenue via Craigslist

 And, really? Really? Afraid so.

Have you come across any other “scary” listings? Share the link in the comments below!

RELATED:

Lead image/listing: 748 Decatur Street, by Adell Realty Group.

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  1. G

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    thank you for sharing this post. It was really good .